5 reasons to forget 'climate change'

Climate change has turned into a secular religion for the 21st century. It seems as if you can't go 5 minutes without somebody mentioning their carbon footprint or reduced emissions, and getting quite the moral boost from doing so.

Much of it is horseshit - saving 5 tonnes of CO2 is all well and good, unless you're producing 5 million tonnes in which case you may as well not have bothered. But hey, it's a reduction, right? Pats on the back all around, and we'll throw a celebratory party with gigawatt laser shows and a sound system that would make The Who seem like shy kids at a school nativity play.

This has been brought to the forefront of my mind with the coming Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen (phew) and the timely release of emails taken from a hacked computer at the University of East Anglia. The climate sceptics are having a field day with this information, and I honestly don't blame them; the doom and gloom is not comfortable, nor the moral chest-beating about such doom, and any way to show the statistics as even more woolly than the field of climatology itself will be welcome.

Quite frankly, the whole thing pisses me off quite a lot. I honestly can't give a shit about the climate anymore. And that's OK, because there are very useful, tangible and easy-to-understand reasons to do the things required to 'save the planet' (or, more accurately, stop the planet becoming inhospitable to us).

1. Save money. Cars are expensive to run, at least in this part of the world. So, don't use it so often, if possible. Reduce your gas bill by turning your thermostat down to a minimum and put on a sweater instead. Wash your clothes at 40°, saving the more soiled ones for a hot pre-soak or just at a higher temperature, and use a clothes horse/washing line instead of the noisy tumble dryer.
2. Stop buying cheap crap. It's often made in China. Want to see what happens there? (warning, disturbing in places) We have to share an ocean with these guys and that shit's going to get in your fish and chips. Stop encouraging them, damnit.
3. Reduce dependence on imports. You know, like oil and gas. We're already aware of what Russia is like, and the Middle East is not a place I'm keen on funding (being very general and political here, no offence to people of relevant countries). Do you really want to be at their mercy? No thanks. Cut down energy usage and switch to energy sources in our control.
   
4. Supporting local business where it makes sense. It's often a better experience generally. In the case of food, it's fresher and tastier, never mind the reduced transport cost to you and the environment. When dealing with businesses, you've got more chance of a friendly face or voice who understands, rather than an Indian working from a script. And from a very generalised economic point of view, it keeps money within the country, reducing imports (again) and increasing net wealth.
5. Save money. I put this twice because it's twice as convincing. Seriously, if you just be a bit more conscientious with your usage, you get to spend more money going out, or buying expensive and nice things for yourself that will last a long time, rather than something cheaper that you have to keep replacing. If you really aren't too concerned about the lifetime of something, go second hand or participate in something like Freecycle. Spend your money on things you really want to spend it on.

And there you go. I didn't even have to mention greenhouse gases once! ...aw, crap...