November 2009 Archives

Climate change has turned into a secular religion for the 21st century. It seems as if you can't go 5 minutes without somebody mentioning their carbon footprint or reduced emissions, and getting quite the moral boost from doing so.

Much of it is horseshit - saving 5 tonnes of CO2 is all well and good, unless you're producing 5 million tonnes in which case you may as well not have bothered. But hey, it's a reduction, right? Pats on the back all around, and we'll throw a celebratory party with gigawatt laser shows and a sound system that would make The Who seem like shy kids at a school nativity play.

This has been brought to the forefront of my mind with the coming Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen (phew) and the timely release of emails taken from a hacked computer at the University of East Anglia. The climate sceptics are having a field day with this information, and I honestly don't blame them; the doom and gloom is not comfortable, nor the moral chest-beating about such doom, and any way to show the statistics as even more woolly than the field of climatology itself will be welcome.

Quite frankly, the whole thing pisses me off quite a lot. I honestly can't give a shit about the climate anymore. And that's OK, because there are very useful, tangible and easy-to-understand reasons to do the things required to 'save the planet' (or, more accurately, stop the planet becoming inhospitable to us).

1. Save money. Cars are expensive to run, at least in this part of the world. So, don't use it so often, if possible. Reduce your gas bill by turning your thermostat down to a minimum and put on a sweater instead. Wash your clothes at 40°, saving the more soiled ones for a hot pre-soak or just at a higher temperature, and use a clothes horse/washing line instead of the noisy tumble dryer.
2. Stop buying cheap crap. It's often made in China. Want to see what happens there? (warning, disturbing in places) We have to share an ocean with these guys and that shit's going to get in your fish and chips. Stop encouraging them, damnit.
3. Reduce dependence on imports. You know, like oil and gas. We're already aware of what Russia is like, and the Middle East is not a place I'm keen on funding (being very general and political here, no offence to people of relevant countries). Do you really want to be at their mercy? No thanks. Cut down energy usage and switch to energy sources in our control.
   
4. Supporting local business where it makes sense. It's often a better experience generally. In the case of food, it's fresher and tastier, never mind the reduced transport cost to you and the environment. When dealing with businesses, you've got more chance of a friendly face or voice who understands, rather than an Indian working from a script. And from a very generalised economic point of view, it keeps money within the country, reducing imports (again) and increasing net wealth.
5. Save money. I put this twice because it's twice as convincing. Seriously, if you just be a bit more conscientious with your usage, you get to spend more money going out, or buying expensive and nice things for yourself that will last a long time, rather than something cheaper that you have to keep replacing. If you really aren't too concerned about the lifetime of something, go second hand or participate in something like Freecycle. Spend your money on things you really want to spend it on.

And there you go. I didn't even have to mention greenhouse gases once! ...aw, crap...

Reading an article on Chrome OS prompted me to ponder the up-and-coming juggernaut that is Google - at least where the Internet is concerned, but as that keeps growing, so will their power.

The obvious thing is that Google is about advertising. What do you think pays for all your space on Gmail? The revenue from Google Apps for Business won't cover it - and if you think of all the ISPs that resell the platform yet retain ads, e.g. Sky, you can see where the real value lies.

The added benefit of reselling is passing on the cost of support; this leaves more resources for Google to spend making those ads more relevant and thereby improving the bottom line.

That's fine, though. I can live with that. Companies need to make money somehow, and Google doesn't do this in a particularly insidious way; their ads are the only ones I actually allow because I have found them useful at times, and because they aren't insanely irritating compared to the competition. (Even YouTube fares better to commercial TV, IMHO.)

The real concern in my eyes is that, while Google is sticking to 'Do no evil', they're not doing good, either. Let's get back to Chrome OS: no support for native apps or data storage is in no way good for users. It is a serious step back in time in an era where storage is insanely cheap and mobile processors have more power than huge mainframes did not too long ago. People might spend huge amounts of time on the web, but everybody I know needs at least one killer app which you can't get via a web browser. That might be Skype, it might be an image editing program... hell, people have mobile devices which need to sync somehow, whether it's an iPod, smartphone, or digital camera.

I just wonder where the value comes in from having Google's glorified browser as the only thing on your netbook. It's not like manufacturers haven't tried putting Linux on to cut costs - look at how successful that ended up. I suspect people want a little more than that - but I also suspect I may be proved wrong and Google succeed over that original failure.

But that's not really the issue here. There's a good reason why Google want people to stick to the web - it's what they're good at, they make money from it, and it's all they really care about. The linked article at the top gives plenty of examples where it's obvious their only loyalty is to themselves. Getting people on the web where they have huge popularity and more control of things can only be good; even if some people avoid all Google-using sites as a consequence, there's going to be many more using them by virtue of their reputation, and they know this. A win for Google.

Advertisers are their customers, and users are their product. They worked out that attracting users means you have to make things users like, and damn anyone else; the perfect example being Google Book Search's lack of regard for copyrighted works, and the associated furore.

Sure, Google makes nice things for us. Just don't fool yourself into believing it means they love you; if you do, one day you'll wake up with a nasty surprise, a very awkward situation on your hands and terabytes of data all about you stored somewhere in the Googolplex. The sea level will rise a metre solely from how much advertisers are salivating right now.

This is a bit more than idle hatred for their beach and picnic battles against man - I have photographic evidence of a wasp attacking and killing a moth.


A poor, harmless moth.


OK, I know we haven't got on well with moths either - those fluttery things which aren't pretty butterflies and love to chew on our cardigans, slowly but surely gutting our wardrobes - but nobody seriously has a beef with them. There are some nice moths out there, as a visit to a butterfly house will prove to you; when was the last time you saw all the varieties of wasps on display in such an environment?

This is all the justification I need to destroy the wasp population once and for all. Those black-and-yellow bastards* think they can make bigger creatures its bitches? My can of RAID says otherwise.

*not bees, though. Bees are cool.

Okay, so, the more observant, informed and/or alcoholic of you will realise by now that there are many new flavours of Baileys. But are they any good?

"I'm a drunkard on a budget, but I have high tastes, you see! Not just any old irish cream for me." I'm glad you asked, Mr. Drunkard. I took the liberty of sampling these new flavours so you can choose the one that's right for you.

First of all, our control...

Classic Baileys
If you don't know this then just pick any old one, you won't know any different. Better still, just get some really cheap vodka. For girls, why not pick the alcopop version, methylated spirits?

And the flavours...

Baileys with a hint of Mint Chocolate
Not quite sure where the 'chocolate' part comes in, since my typical experience of an After Eight is defined by the filling rather than the comparatively bland chocolate coating. Either way, I'm not complaining - mint is my favourite herb, and as a kid I used to devour mint sauce while the parents weren't looking. As a result, I can drink a bottle of week-old red wine without flinching. (Please note, I said I can, not that I would. Well, OK, I've done it when times were desperate...)

Oh, and they're right to say a 'hint' - it's not very minty, but being a guy with an unusually sweet tooth, I find it more delicious than regular Baileys. Thumbs up.

Baileys with Coffee
Probably the best, but I'm biased as a big coffee drinker. They've balanced this very well and it turned out much nicer than Tia Lusso managed. But then again, Tia Maria sucks hard. I wouldn't even accept it as a substitute for Kahlua, let alone Caffè Borghetti. Probably the best of the lot.

Baileys with Crème Caramel
OK, I'll admit, I haven't had this one. It doesn't sound like it can be better than the others, and besides, my view of crème caramel was tainted after witnessing this disturbingly creative and possibly nauseating book. I've eaten it since, though.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that the winner is Baileys with a hint of Coffee. They're still doing free samples of it, too! Go, go, get some now!

I've been listening to a bit of ELO lately. Some of you might be aware of my incredible obsession with them a few years ago, during which time I signed up for the ELO mailing list, Showdown. As well as all the news on Jeff & co., the people on that have introduced me to quite a few interesting bands in a similar vein, as well as some completely oddball choices made possible by the way people meet and touch on each others' lives, purely out of circumstance and luck.

Just imagine the relationships that the people you meet have. Or even the classic Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon Separation. But that's only truly interesting when you know the people involved before you discover the links between them.

This came to light again after an interview from the summer with Frankmusik was brought to my attention by that very mailing list. I'd already liked the sound of him, if not his fashion sense, and it pleases me greatly that the legacy of ELO lives on and is appreciated - and by people significantly cooler than the Feeling (much as I love them). People like Ladyhawke, who automatically gets the prize for 'my favourite ELO fan' because she's (1) a pretty girl, (2) has a sense of humour, (3) loves synths and (4) is a Kiwi. But don't fret, girls, I'm still accepting nominations...

Anyway, the point is that I also rather enjoy Ellie Goulding's work, who incidentally falls into the first three categories I enumerated earlier. There is some fine poppy-electronic work in her songs and I can't wait for the album to come out.

(Hmm, I've changed my mind, being a Kiwi is optional.)

Tying this together reasonably neatly, I have no idea if she likes ELO, but what I do know is Frankmusik produced a song for her, and very good it is indeed. You should have a listen, you know - it's called Wish I Stayed.

Without doubt I'll have to see her and the truly amazing Passion Pit when they're around in Bristol's O2 Academy this coming March. I can only wonder who I'll be looking forward to most by the time that rolls around!

Last night I dreamt I'd gone shopping and bought some very reasonably-priced chorizo and an even-more-reasonably-priced bag of beans.

I now find myself at 7pm pining for a quesadilla without the slightest bit of filler to put between those two tortillas.

It's amazing how you can be disappointed by completely irrational expectations, but there you go. Serves me right for having such a mundane dream.

One of my fondest childhood memories was Ren and Stimpy. It moulded me into the man I am today. The guy to blame is John K, but hold your abuse for a minute; he's made something quite lovely, and since you're here you're probably the type that likes looking at pretty pictures.

WELL, DOES HE HAVE A TREAT FOR YOU!
Aaand here, and here!
I think he makes a fine, accurate point and dresses it up in fun to boot. It's almost enough to stop you weeping for the world!